Do you have children who are behind in their education? If so, you are in the right place. I'm Dollie Freeman and I am hosting day two of what I'm calling the behind Go from Behind to Learning Progress Challenge. This challenge is designed to help you as a homeschooling mom understand what this school year must consist of in order for you to show progress by the end of the year and to alleviate all of those concerns about year end testing and if your child is gonna show progress on those tests.

In day one of this challenge, I talked about how important it was for you to understand the common mistake Homeschool moms make that are hindering your progress. If you did not listen to that after this, you are gonna wanna go back and you're gonna make sure that you listen to that as well. In today's special series, I wanna share with you about debunking the myth your child will learn when they are ready.

This episode is brought to by Wholesome Thinkers.

The Myth: Your Child Will Learn When They Are Ready

On day one, I talked about how important it was for you to understand the common mistake Homeschool moms make that are hindering your progress. If you did not listen to that after this, you are gonna wanna go back and you're gonna make sure that you listen to that as well.

I wanna share with you about debunking the myth your child will learn when they are ready.

I'm gonna be talking to you about the one lie that will never, I hope that you will never believe. Also the thing that I did that worked and the secret to getting your kids ready to learn.

And with that, I'd like to share with you a story to get you to understand a little bit about the myth that I actually believed wholeheartedly went forward with it.

I knew the people who shared it with me were well-meaning friends who thought this to be truth and it is an actual myth.

But before you can really understand it, I wanna be able to give you the story about how I fell prey to the lie in the homeschooling community that your children will learn when they're ready.

When I first started to Homeschool,
I was part of a homeschooling community that met regularly and there were several older ladies in in the community who became mentors and would share in a monthly meeting

One time, there was the discussion about the importance of delayed learning. At first I thought that was about preschoolers and those who felt like it was important to start your schooling at six versus five.

But when the meeting began, I quickly understood that this was about struggling learners. This had nothing to do with preschoolers or kindergarten and what age to start kindergarten. Instead, this was about moms who had 12 year olds who were still not learning to read and they were making it acceptable within the homeschooling community. What they were saying is that when your child is ready to learn, they would learn.

I sat up and I was like, okay, they have readers in their home, they have children who are doing really well, they just have this one child who is just not reading. So maybe they understand a little more than I do at the time.

Now some of the things they were teaching was to go a couple weeks, a couple months and then pick back up the lessons and see if they appear to be ready.

I know you've heard a lot of these readiness tests of when your child is ready for writing, you'll see them holding the pencil, you'll see them asking how to spell words, and when they're ready for reading, they'll pick up books and they'll make up their own stories and such like this.

I want you to understand those readiness that we have heard from early on are things that I've seen my children do, even my struggling readers. They may not have done it to the equivalent or the the amount of times that my other children would would have done it, but they were still doing it.

There was even this one time they said,
you might need to put it down for a year or two before they're ready to learn.

So one year I thought, you know what? I'm gonna go ahead and I'm gonna just do this because I was losing my patients.

My child was just not learning.

I had a toddler at home that was really needing more attention and the lessons not going on so long.

What ended up happening is that everything I had taught before was completely forgotten.

We had lost complete ground by this point.

I had already tried several different curriculums and had changed multiple times.

So in the sense I welcomed it and I needed another mom to tell me to do that because I felt like I needed the break.

That was a lie.

And that was something that I totally wish I had never done, and never have done it again.

What ended up happening was that I began to understand that every single person has this innate desire to learn.

We all have it.

Certain things grab one child's attention where something else will grab another child's attention even if you're teaching them the exact same thing.

Perfect analogy is when our children were reading the Islands of the Blue Dolphin great book, I highly suggest it.

 

In that book, my daughter's narration was all about the relationship. She never once talked about dolphins.

So then I was like, wait a second, there's no dolphins in the book. Oh yeah, there's dolphins in the book. But she never told me about that. However, my son told me nothing about the people and told me only about the animals. 

It's all about those things that grab that child's attention.

When you understand that we all are born with this innate desire to learn, it's how learning is presented.

It's how learning is actually not just presented but actually played out in the process of learning that's gonna make the difference.

I want you to never believe the lie that your children will learn when they're ready.

We're born ready.

We just have to make sure that the situations, the processes in which we're teaching our children makes their mind ready as well

What Works To Get Your Child To Learn

I knew that waiting for my child to want to learn was not the answer.

The reason I knew that was because he began to dislike anything that had to do with books. He really just struggled anytime I said it was a reading lesson. However, what I would find is that as early as the age of seven, he was taking books off my shelf, field guides, that were adult books, and he would sit and he would work really hard trying to figure out how to read these books on his own.

There's the readiness.

He was ready.

It was just how he was learning in the process in which we were doing was not working for his mind.

There was a lot of attitudes that came in on it that caused me to be impatient, that caused him to feel like he wasn't capable.

There was a lot of things going on there, but I remember thinking, we all know the word or the phrase practice makes perfect.

What I did during this time was I encouraged my son and I took the word perfect out of it and I said…

“Practice makes progress.” Dollie Freeman

And that's all we were looking at.

We were not looking for perfection, we were looking for progress.

When I introduced that to my son and I was seeing that he was showing readiness of reading, he wanted to read what was in  these adult field guides to know what it was he was finding in the yard in his nature time.

I also know how important repetition is to retention.

You cannot have retention unless it is repeated.

This is why it's really good to be hearing and writing. The more senses that we can actually put in the process of our learning, the easier it is for us to retain.

All of those senses help our brain to retain.

Repetition is important.

So taking this huge break in our child's mechanics of learning was the worst mistake I could have done.

We lost so much momentum.

Retention was no longer there.

He had forgotten everything we have done.

We had to start from scratch.

And that was very, very discouraging.

So what he ended up doing to just give us a little bit of momentum is that we did our reading lessons two to three times a day, instead of doing it all in this big time where his patience, and my patience were struggling.

We did some in the morning, we did some in the afternoon, and we did some in the evening.

That is how we had practice makes progress.

This was all about practice. This was not about being a perfect reader. This was not about reading at his sister's level. It was not even reading about kids his age.

This was all about his journey with his education.

It was about him practicing to show progress in his mechanics of reading. When we took that turn and we started talking about progress, not perfection, it really helped him relax and breathe through the process.

The Secret To Getting Your Kids To Learn

The secret to getting your kids ready to learn is something that I really want you to listening to me and really understand the importance. 

The secret is confidence. 

Your children must have confidence that they're capable of doing something. I'm talking self-confidence where they believe it themselves. Not that you believe it and you're building up their confidence, but the fact that their confidence is so strong that they believe it themselves and no one can tell them differently.

When we get to this point of self-confidence where we know we can do something, it's only there because we can do it independently.

We understand it, we see it, and we see the next step.

That's what we need to get our children to the point of is we need to help them to build their confidence.

When your child is getting further and further behind in the mechanics of reading, writing, arithmetic, and thinking, what's gonna happen is their confidence is gonna be chipped away. They're gonna see kids their own age, they're gonna start feeling embarrassed like my son did.

You're gonna start feeling like as a mom, ‘please don't let my child have to read that birthday card at his birthday party'. That's embarrassing to him and he's gonna feel inadequate. He can't play this game with family cousins because he can't read these cards on his own. Just finding those situations where you feel like your child is no longer gonna be a part of it because they're gonna be made fun of so that atmosphere, that environment, those situations chip away from that confidence.

When you get to the point where your child is confident because they're able to do something independently is where you wanna go to.

I call that the Confidence Baseline™.

This is what I teach.

I teach how important it is in order for us to actually have practice that shows progress.

We cannot meet our children in the plans that we have because I don't know about you, but I have planned so many perfectly good plans for homeschooling, but I did not give my child books that he was confident in reading and he surely couldn't read it on his own.

If you're giving your children books to read where you have to sit there and help them read each and every word, and they need help sounding out each and every word, the confidence is not there. But when your child only needs your help every once in a while, maybe two or three words a sentence, the confidence can begin to build.

So oftentimes because we have this pressure to push our children forward and to get further in their studies and in their progress, we assign them books that we know that we know they're not capable of doing.

We just hope that somehow over the summer they woke up one day being able to finally read and it's not that way.

I teach about the Confidence Baseline inside the Homeschool Progress Kit. Inside this kit, you will find so many resources about the stages of transitions for those four mechanics of learning. But what I wanna focus in on today is the Confidence Baseline™ Tracker. I show you how to find your child's confidence baseline and this at the very beginning of the school year and how you use that to be able to move forward and show progress through practice.

The Homeschool Progress Kit helps homeschool mom identify and avoid gaps in reading, writing, math, and thinking.

With this confidence tracking, you'll be able to really show major progress.

Now, I know some of my clients are like, oh, I hate to think about how far I have to go back in reading levels of books to get my children to the point of feeling confidence.

Remember true confidence, self-confidence is when they can do something independently.

If your children have yet to read a book on their own, they really don't have confidence.

Now there is the need of you sitting next to them and building their skill during their lesson, but they have to have some form of confidence along the way. I walk you through how to do that.

In this lesson, I want you guys to really be thinking very much about not falling prey to the myth of your children will learn when they're ready.

They're born ready. They're just needing that atmosphere that is encouraging learning and they're going to need to know that their confidence level is there and respected.

When you meet them at their confidence baseline, I'm telling you what, with practice, you're going to be able to see progress real quickly because all of a sudden the confidence is what's fueling the motivation in a child.

When you have confidence fueling a child, progress is going to happen because they desire it, not mom. And until that desire is met with actual show of progress, it's not going to be able to be done otherwise.

Now, this is a challenge this week.

What I want you to be working on today with the training is I want you to determine your child's confidence baseline and set a timer for reading lessons two to three times a day when you do two or three lessons that are short.

You don't wanna push when you and me are learning something new, we don't want to do it very long.

What we wanna do is make sure the child has some way of getting excited.

Now, when I say two to three lessons a day, don't think you have to keep moving forward in your lessons. You can be repeating the same lesson two or three times a day.

That repetition is how retention is happening.

So if your children are reading the exact same words they read earlier in the day, retention is happening because the brain is beginning to now remember, and they're gonna have to move through those words faster instead of having to send them out each and every time.

Take perfection completely out of the picture.

All we're looking for is progress.

When we do that, what's gonna happen is it automatically shifts the comparison where your children are not thinking about other children their age and them being behind. Instead, they're gonna be looking inwardly and realizing, wait a second, I'm getting better, I'm improving, I'm making progress.

That is gonna build that confidence so fast.

Alright, so if you can't get started with the Solving Learning Challenges kit that I have you completely covered with all you're going to need to help move your children forward this school year, then I want to invite you to get your free poster set.

These are for you, and it's gonna help you to understand how to influence your kids to love learning and walk you through how to structure your lessons.

Solve learning challenges guide and poster set will help the homeschooling mom know how to get her kids to show progress in their learning.

Now, if you are my clients and you don't have this poster set, I don't teach it anywhere else.

I'm giving you those steps to knowing how to do get your child learning, without a tutor.

Then how to motivate your kids to love learning is a step in step-by-step tried and proven path that will motivate your children even if they're really behind in their education right now.

You can go get the free posters or you can get the kit.

You decide where you wanna start in this journey of taking your kids from behind to learning progress.