The #1 Way To Know If You Have Parenting Influence
But there comes a time when we had to take a step back and see if our children are going to stand or fall on their own. Meaning that are they going to make the right decisions if we give them ownership of that decision? And how will that look?
Well, to take even a step back further, the whole purpose that we want to actually give them the opportunity to stand or fall on their own, all comes back to the fact of are we allowing our children the opportunity to say, this is what I willingly choose. And with it, are we helping them to come to a place of conviction on their own of what is right and what is wrong?
We, at some point, have to take our parenting hands off the steering wheel and give our children the driver's seat and helping them be able to take ownership of their choices and lead the right way.
But oftentimes, we as parents are doing this way too soon. We're also doing it in a way that is causing our children to form these bad behaviors prior to us knowing that they're actually choosing the right way.
Now, if you feel like you have in this cycle of perpetual dos and don'ts, there's time to slow down and give your children this opportunity to see if what you've been saying is sticking or if it's going in one ear and out the other.
So would you like to know the gauge, so to speak, or the evidence of knowing if what you're saying is sticking?
I think so.
Okay. Here is a perfect opportunity to have the number one way to know if you have parental influence in your children.
While the truth of the matter is this, if your children are disobeying, you have no influence.
So disobedience can be something on one level, or it could be unfortunately in some areas where there is absolutely no obedience over everything.
What you wanna do is recognize that when there is disobedience, you have no influence.
So the only way of recognizing if what you're saying is sticking is giving your children that opportunity to walk the right way or the wrong way and decide if they, if you have influence based on obedience or on disobedience, saying that you have not influenced them over this one thing or many things.
Now, the dangers of understanding this is we oftentimes think that one act of disobedience is rebellion against us. And what I want you to recognize is that we can have a defiance against one thing while not having a habit of rebellion or a spirit of rebellion.
It's through the habit of defiance that the spirit of rebellion grows.
So what I want you to do is take a step back and I want you to think about those important things in your family and those things that you really want your children to do to take ownership so that you can stop having to perpetuals dos and don'ts.
I want you to think, how can I get my child to obey me in this one thing? And when that one thing is conquered and you see your child standing, not falling, standing in obedience because they're willingly choosing it, you know that you have influence in that one thing.
Same thing is true.
If you're looking at that one thing and you're seeing your children falling again and again,
that means that they're being defiant in that situation. And you need to take that step back and work on your influence so that you can help them walk in obedience.
When we take this mind shift of changing and saying, we're not putting the emphasis on our children obeying us, we're putting the emphasis on that we as parents are being influential to our children.
So when we take ownership of our parental duties of helping our children to form obedience, we, we will definitely see that it requires the influence. And when you do that and when you recognize the importance of just focusing on one thing, we can get rid of the habit of defiance and avoid the spirit of rebellion altogether.
It only takes one influence.
You're truly one influence away of helping your children walk in the way that they should go, and getting rid of those perpetuals dos and don'ts that just tire us out as parents.
So if you're exhausted in your parenting, this will help you put a gauge on your hour, your afternoon, your morning, your day, and help you to see how your children are making progress and more importantly, how you are making progress in influencing their hearts.
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